After reading quite a few mottos from different countries, the Vietnamese motto remains my favorite: Independence – Freedom – Happiness (Độc lập – Tự do – Hạnh phúc). As I’m about to study abroad in the land of promised freedom and of the American dream, I sure want to talk about this.
Freedom is a theme that is often seen in Vietnamese indie music. These are songs from my favorite bands and singers that deals with this theme directly in their lyrics.
Nhìn thời gian trôi
Mà không tiếc nuối
Là người tự do
(He who looks at time
Not fearing its flow
Is a free man
- Stray cat, Ngọt)
Em cảm thấy
Không còn vấn vương trên vai gầy
Không còn nút thắt trong ngực này
Tôi gọi đó là tự do
(I
No longer feel the boulder on my shoulder
No longer feel the twist in this chest
I call that freedom
- Everending summer, Vũ Thanh Vân)
Nếu có ngày mai
Ta sẽ trong sạch
Ta sẽ cố làm lại từ đầu
(If we have tomorrow
We will try to be clean
We will try to do everything from its beginnings
- Freedom, Cá Hồi Hoang)
Chỉ cần em tìm thấy những niềm vui bé nhỏ
Chỉ cần em thấy tự do”
(As long as you find the little joys
As long as you feel free
- Freedom, Mademoiselle)
Freedom comes in many forms and it diversifies as we change from one culture to another. According to an article I have read, Americans tend to seek “freedom to do” when they talk about freedom, while the Norwegians focus on “freedom to be.” For me, they serve complimentary roles in freedom as a whole, and freedom to do is as important as freedom to be and vice versa.
Freedom is having control over one’s life. In fragments, that means having control over one’s time and one’s identity. To not fear the flow of time, to rid oneself of fears, to have a chance to start over and to find joy in the littlest thing. As my views on freedom and the purpose of life change, the career I want to have also changes. It’s worth talking about career because whether we want it or not, we will have to spend a majority of our life at work. While it’s true that some jobs are excruciating, it is possible to find, or create a job that can help you on your self-development journey and connect you to interesting people.
My first vague impression about myself is that I want to be knowledgeable in different fields. I was into crystals, astrology, and astronomy. I was curious about how every month has its own crystal and the meaning behind it. In retrospect, I think I was less curious about the content of the field itself but how we can attribute meanings to things. Memories of such things are still kept in the closet of my memory, January – Garnet, September – Sapphire, October – Opal, Emerald – maybe May.
Fast forwards, I started picking up science knowledge thanks to this legendary English book called Time Zones 3 by National Geographic, which is absolutely not your “Family and Friends” textbook. The first time I learn about global warming. The first time I learn about melting ice sheets and endangered species. I love talking about it. I love reading stories about scientists, especially in chemistry. Marie Curie. Dmitri Mendeleev. I could go on. I remember getting my book taken away as I was reading it during Math class. I remember running as fast as I could during 15-minute break time to the book store to read Chemistry textbooks for Year 8. Ironically, Chemistry then become my most hated subject during year 8 since the teachers always mentally harass us in the classroom. Love was replaced with fear.
As I got bored with chemistry, I start learning new things on my own. We started doing a ton of presentations, I got interested in PowerPoint and Google Slides. My eye for art was terrible, but it soon improved as I got hold of Slides Carnival. Before I know it, I was into graphic design. As other times, I start reading a lot about the topic, too. I even write emails to renowned creative directors in the industry in Vietnam. One of the authors replied.
But my family was not fond of the idea. I remember getting scolded for learning Photoshop. The cracks went deeper this time. I craved for motivation and life purpose in my job, and Casey Neistat led me to filmmaking. As I went from one existential crisis to another, I start getting interested in Psychology, simply because I want to be there for somebody who needs help, because I did not always have anyone by myself during such moments. My family was not fond of any of my dream jobs. All the wanted was income stability.
These transitions helped me realize that back then I only liked something because (1) I wanted to save humanity in some ways, (2) I liked people who do those jobs, and (3) I was good at it. I did not have values or philosophies about those things, I was just living vicariously through the experiences of others.
Now that I know a little more about life, I realized that.
1. You do not have to do one job for the rest of your life. You can be this AND that, not this OR that.
Great writers like Haruki Murakami and Higashino Keigo lived a normal life in their twenties. Murakami majored in theater and worked at a record store and a jazz bar that he owned before switching off to writing novels. Higashino Keigo also worked at an engineer before becoming a phenomenon in detective novels. From my observation, they don’t become a novel regardless of their past jobs, but because of their past jobs and experiences. The years preceding becoming a novelist isn’t useless, but it serves as an integral part for their writing career.
Self-help books tend to romanticize the idea of “follow your dreams”, of quitting your job and travelling the world. The idea itself isn’t harmful, but the drastic take that they have on such things make me want to vomit. I know that some people can do that and be successful, but they are among the minorities, and I’m absolutely not them. I am a different type.
2. Don’t try to use your job to solve global problems
My reasoning behind this was: solve global problems → make people happy → feel good. In reality, you cannot pour from an empty cup. You cannot give something you don’t have. You can’t make people feel happy when you don’t even know how to be happy yourself.
The way it actually works is feel good → do things you want and need to do → people be happy or not is their own choice.
There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. Every physical problem was once a metaphysical problem that exist in our thoughts. Take care of our physical world by take care of our thoughts and choices.
With this in mind, I now want a job that gives em freedom by allowing me to add value to life in my own way. While I’m uncertain of what I want to do, I can be sure I will always be a writer, as what matters now with me is storytelling rather than just gaining pure knowledge.
Dear self,
See you in 10 years.
Comentarios