I don’t know how to describe this feeling, but I just feel very glad that everything happened. All the sufferings that I went through, as well as all the moments of light-soaked joy that I’m currently living in. I had been on a wild goose chase, I had been trying to get to somewhere that’s ever-changing, I had tried to understand everything. But now, I realize I’ve had enough.
Before that, as I was studying domains of knowledge, I went places, but never arrived. Now that I study philosophy, I had a chance to step into a world where time doesn’t matter, where everything has its timelessness. Every moment is beautifully crafted and fossilized into golden amber.
Isn’t it an irony that I feel like I have more control over my time now, even when I have less time than all those years ago? It is, but all of that happened, because I know how to make a stop, and to understand what the final question is.
Be mindful of what you’re consuming and you you’re dealing with
If there is any pearl of wisdom I can offer you after studying psychology and philosophy, that’d be our brain is malleable as fuck. Therefore, there’s no greater insurance than knowing what’s influencing your thoughts and how to gain control over that. By this, I mean the songs you listen to, the people you connect with on a daily basis, the books you read. Hear me out: the imaginary is what tend to become real.
Take care of your words when you’re with others. Take care of your thoughts when you’re alone.
On sad songs
The energy of people is contagious. The social circle doesn’t stop when you stop speaking. The moment you choose music to listen to, you’re choosing whose thoughts and messages you’re taking into your precious mental garden. It would be absurd to say that my confidence went up 500% after listening to Taylor Swift song, but as I was decluttering the other day and documenting the music I’d been listening to through all the years, I realized that before that I’d been listening to depressing music that wrecked my soul into pieces. But it is a choice. It is a choice. And now, I choose to listen to music that promotes healing instead of suicidal ones. Goodbye Cigarettes After Sex, sorry but I can’t continue to have you.
I’m not saying that you have to listen to happy music all the time, but it’s about learning how to heal properly. It is okay to feel bad, but you have to be very aware of the boundaries you’re stepping into.
Another thing that is relevant to this is a literary work that I’ve been learning in Vietnamese class: The tale of Kieu, also called The New Lament. While it can be interpreted in a myriad of ways, my favorite interpretation remains that of Thich Nhat Hanh. Putting the unjust society aside, it’s basically the story of a girl who likes composing sad songs and having destructive thoughts about her fate that well... finally run her life into a dead-end. After 15 years of hell, she realized that she had a choice. Moral of the story: heal with mindfulness, don’t heal by banging suicidal songs.
Meaningful social interactions
Philosophy and psychology have finally learned to shake hands.
They both agree that the meaning of existence can be summed up in three words: meaningful social interactions.
Whether you’re single or in a relationship, it is utterly important to have a strong non-romantic support system.
In order to grow, it’s important to have multiple perspectives. With that being said, having friends is good, but it’s not enough. A single thing that changed the trajectory of my life completely was mentorship. Having people older and wiser than you who can give you advice and suggestions for your life is an invaluable things to have. Social interactions were never meant to be quantitative but qualitative to be meaningful.
I’ve always felt bad about not being “cool” or loud enough. But after today, I feel very glad and reassured about being myself. I have my own way of socializing. Just because it’s different from people doesn’t make it non-existent.
“But if you meet people after all those years, say, you’re 30 years old, they’re not going to be like “Oh that’s the Head Girl.” People remember how you made them feel.”
That’s the deal of being human, if you think something is good, then it is. The same applies to thinking something as bad or something.
Reflect on your working strategies
Doing better starts with doing less
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. — Leonardo da Vinci
Before you learn a thing or two about “how to boost your productivity”, get rid of the unnecessary stuff first. Have a complete scan / detox / whatever you want to call it of you physical and digital life. I can’t stand people having 30 windows open at once and 20 background apps that are running. That is not a recipe for a happy life.
You ask what is the proper limit to a person's wealth? First, having what is essential, and second, having what is enough. — Seneca
1. Setting the blueprint
Write down all the responsibilities that you’re having. Like list of subjects you’re taking and other commitments such as university application, chores, et cetera.
Split them to important (deep work) and not important (trivial). Hint: important tasks tend to give you the most stress.
2. Developing systems and habits for deep work
For each of the responsibility, develop a system that you find efficient and stick to it. Every subject has a preferred way of doing them.
For practical subjects such as chemistry and math, try.
For memory-intensive subjects such as biology and psychology, revise consistently.
For critical-thinking-based subjects such as language and philosophy, think.
You should be spending MOST of your time on important tasks like habits. If you prioritize them right, they'll rarely fall into the urgent or SOS zone.
3. Dealing with trivial tasks
Trivial tasks are tasks that others can assign you, which don’t really add much to your grades, but you have to do them anyways. They’re tasks that take up lots of “setting up” time that makes it time-consuming if you try to do it every day. They can come in the form of “useless homework” and “checking emails”. You can deal with them by
having a fixed time to do it, ideally at the end of a work session before going on breaks
just let them there and catch up later
Misconceptions about streaks and consistency
Consistency is good, but streaks are dumb. Rests are essential to keep a habit going. I prefer to do 4-5 days of deep work, then 1 day to relax and catch up with trivial tasks.
4. Learning to plan
Failing to plan is planning to fail.
But planning too tight leave you no room to fail.
So what do you do?
Plan loose, then tight.
I never use calendars. I just write out a list of events for that semester and break them into weeks. As a day approach, I start adding more steps to it. Planning helps you.
Know what the big waves are and allow you to get ahead. Develop deep work habits.
Incorporate trivial tasks to upcoming days. Utilize often wasted time to run errands.
It is important to measure progress
Don’t try to figure out everything yourself. Go up to people and get feedback for your work.
Know thyself
Knowing yourself is knowing the boundaries between what you want and what you need. Spend most of your time on the latter. When you try to understand, you judge less. This applies to dealing with yourself and with other people.
The way to do is to be. — Lao Tzu
You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. — Thich Nhat Hanh
Don't chase, attract. What belongs to me will simply find me.
You were never asking for too much, you were simply asking the wrong person.
Sometimes, we walk in darkness to learn to use our own light. Before there was the Lover Taylor Swift, there had to be the Reputation Taylor Swift. Darkness isn’t bad, it’s simply a time to heal and reinvent yourself.
Comments