life, as I believe, is not always about big things.
sometimes, it's more about a glowing rose vase, than a newly bought mansion.
sometimes, it's about learning to experience things with great gratitude, not mediocre things with misery.
life, not so much an event that just take place and finish, it's rather a progress that transform us into very different people on the inside and outside since birth.
in most books talking about happiness (not the kind of bursting motivationally self-help books,) almost all authors mention the quality of being able to regard events, however small it is - a breath of fresh air, a beam of light, shredded by bars between the windows. all it took was a long yet worthy period of me experiencing, trial and error, testing on multipleo point of views upon life.
it's also about balance, to stay have enough time out of your comfortable zone, as well as time spent reflecting on existentialism.
many terrible things could have happened, you could have been kidnapped, sold to china, enslaved, impoverished, being sexually abused. but life didn't choose today, or it didn't choose you. looking back, it's remarkable to see how normal actions could play out on such a fateful day. however, the possibility of such things happening, compared to the control over life you have by choosing to adopt and let go what habits, is miniscule, if positively thought.
fuck clichés. purposes, if you think about it, is very much like motivation, it makes you think that you need it in order to work. we don't need to be a gamechanger for fates of everyone of earth to be worthy of existing, nor do we need to achieve great things, the smaller things you celebrate, the easier you are to be content in life.
let just be, let just be, breathe, no purpose is needed, and you are free to explain yours and other people's existance by whatever way favored - we live for a purpose, okay, we live because the universe created us, okay, life is meaningless and we just exist, okay. everything is okay, let just be. how can one be ego depletion, if his, or her ego, does not exist at all?
a bit of ego is necessary for modern survival, but on second thought, wouldn't it be more beneficial to be nothing?
by being nothing, we become, pretty much everything, on our spiriual awakening journey.
start and you will see, words you speak and write, thoughts that come visit you every sleepless night, change, as you change, words become simpler, more succint, yet possesing the ability to convey meaningful messages to reach the world. negative thoughts DO COME, but on a lesser extent, or you'd adopted the mindset to cope with it, already.
being content, successful, happy in life does not mean life go in what direction you want. learn to surf with the waves, dance with the rain, fall with the wind. there are things that I myself know are good to have, yet I hated doing in the first place - exercising, attending MUN conference, etc.
I believe that things worth doing are those who you hated at first, suffer during its process, but felt great after doing it. just keep pushing, and rest when you need to.
19/7/2021.
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