c'est fini.

sau bữa tiệc.

khó nhì là bắt đầu, đối mặt với áp lực và thử thách, khó nhất là việc trượt xuống một đường dài, từ lời tán thưởng, ái mộ của mọi người xuống lại mức bình thường.

lắm mấy kì vọng, mình nên học cách sống cho bản thân, không phải loại ego siêu to khổng lồ mà là, biết mình là gì, cần gì nữa.

tiệc nào cũng tàn, duy chỉ phần tình là ở lại. sống đi, sống vô ưu vô lo.

letter to my teacher.

dear mr. price,

as I had expressed my gratitude for your guidance in my present earlier, it took me until now to fully understand and grasp the meaning of what it means, to be alive and balanced.

before death, there was life.

the illusion of life.

life, to some, is an illusion as much as it is compared to death.

to look at life, let's not look at life, let's all seek death.

the moment your heart stopped beating, your lungs stopped gasping for air, your muscle in its frist and last time ever, fully relaxed. temperatures don't mind maintaining itself within set boundaries anymore. everything, is still as objects, and as cool as the environment.

decay comes with larvaes and cheemical matter within us that takes us away piece by piece, depending on the pH of the soil, it's a matter of years, or centuries, to blend in with earth. death is inevitable, and life is as much inevitable as it is to death.

it takes seconds to read, but years to fully comprehend what was intentionally meant.

to live is to live, no reason is needed.

so let's live now.

* highly encourage you to stop here, what comes next is highly disturbing *

fuck?

dad should suck his fucking dick.

regardless of times I do stuff for him which took up time and effort, I heard no fucking thank you? why can't you talk to family members with the tone of voice which you talked to so-called relatives?

I don't ask for much, if you're asking for help then shut up being so damn choosy and demanding. I ain't know any of the tools but still tryna figure out. it has to be like this and that, and not whatsoever.

fucking vanish, I'm sick of saying sorry all the time, only to here an uh from you.

fuck off, really, pure shit.

leave me alone.

20/7/2021.

là cái ngày định mệnh đó đấy anh yêu.

đến giờ đọc lại, em vẫn còn cảm thấy tội lỗi dữ lắm, vì ngày ấy bị vỡ trận.

thôi thì chuyện đã lỡ rồi, mình có những lúc không tỉnh táo, anh nhỉ. em xin lỗi anh nhiều, nhiều lắm, em đau và em còn yêu anh nhiều lắm.

em yêu anh nhiều lắm trung à, mình cùng làm lại nhé?

chu kì mới đã đến, và mình sẽ đi cùng nhau.

c'est la fin du voyage.