t(r)ired.

i tried to let go.

i tried to stop giving a fuck to what's sapping my mental and physical energy.

i tried so much, but it won't help.

i tried to give myself a routine and stick with it.

i tried to be okay.

i tried to not be such a burden to my loved ones.

i tried to kept my emotions and feelings safe and sound.

i tried to learn this and that, to chase away boredom.

i tried to be myself.

i tried to stay afloat when emotions and hardships seem to dip me down in the bottomless sea of depression.

fuck dad.

fuck mom.

fuck all (except for you, the one reading this, you're the only hope)

i tried to be grateful of what life offered me, but it turned out to be far worse.

i feel like no one in this house recognize my importance and contributions to better myself.

this isn't home. this is all fake, all cold, all indifferent. i feel awkward being in this house.

6/8/2021.