1.20 pm
I went to the class that I hate the most, hoping to digest inheritance recessive dominant allele or cross test whatever. I blurt out the answers that the teacher give like a robot, creating that absolute I wondered why Mendel created this cursed thing.
2.40 pm
School finished, I got on the bus, feeling absolutely shit. However, instead of resting, myself in its dumbest version still try to cram bits more of math’s vectors and transformations (and get almost all of them wrong, of course)
At times, I felt like I was going to throw up, for my numb brain working at its full capacity, my seat rocking forwards then backwards, scents that the air conditioner brought – which used to smell nice whenever I got on it to go home, but now it seems like it’s trying to kill me.
3.36 pm
Heh, I’m done cramming those shit, now let’s take a nap, regardless how much time I have left.
3.57 pm
Wake the fuck up said the lady (I exaggerated she didn’t say that, sowwy). I in my dearest attempt got off the bus and went to my home, planning to sleep a wee bit more.
Surprise, bitch? No one is home.
I thought I was going to collapse.
I called my mom, she didn’t pick up.
I called my boyfriend, he’s probably busy, I did blame him... at first, then I feel like acting my age so I just stop whatever I was thinking and tried to distract myself.
She rang back.
Blablabla I didn’t know that you were coming home much sooner this week, I’ll ship the money to my dumb daughter rn.
In a moment’s notice I realize I was the asshole myself, not my mom nor life. Oh wait, no one was an absolute asshole, I just need to calm down a wee wee bit. Just slog to Ministop.
I made it to the 2nd floor, hoping for some privacy and mainly because I have no money. It turned out that a chunk of people was sitting upstairs, I was awkward to walk down so I sit anyways.
I opened my backpack, put everything on the table, and stare at my notebooks, laptop, charger puzzled. I called my boyfriend again.
I feel so pissed.
/Part two/
I decided that this mindset is not gonna save me from what’s happening, I took my lipstick out, looked into my phone to put it on properly.
Having cheered myself up a bit. I then organize my stuff, as I’m cleaning up the dust that the day gave me. I felt much better now.
I went downstairs as to watch the shipper coming easier. As soon as I came down, he rang me. I ran out and took the parcel, not forgetting to thank him.
I bought some snacks, some unhealthy snacks to be precise and came across the aisle which sells Pocky sticks, a message that hit me in the face was “Share happiness”
I gathered a bit more and then go to the counter to pay. I decided to do something kind. Probably tipping? No that’s too common. Therefore, I gave her a bag of snack that I got earlier.
She looked dumbfounded. It takes a few seconds for her to wake up from her unconscious mind and thank me. I genuinely feel good afterwards.
I looked out the windows. It’s raining.
Behind the window were 2 contrast worlds, one air – conditioned and damn comfortable, one with rain splashing out as there was a massive cup pouring from the sky. People, mostly street vendors, took care of their foodstuff, putting on their rain coat in a rush, pulling their motorbikes with them.
I asked myself. What is life after all? What is happiness after all?
I looked across the table, peeking at a boy’s notebook. He was probably going through the hell that I was supposedly going to next year – the entrance exam to high school.
Math, cyclic quadrilaterals, chords, segments, they all came back to me. I felt lucky for my education.
He left after a few minutes. Another guy came and took his spot.
He teared his little bag of snack in a careful manner. I saw him watching videos on Photoshop, "he’s into graphic design", I think.
I wonder how 2 random people can bring up such memories that impacted me so deeply. You might say they’re just coincidences. Coincidences? God’s planned coincidences.
An hour passed without me knowing.
5 pm aka now
I guess kids are out from their school. I see students in all shape and from running, walking on the other side of the window. I feel blessed for not going to government’s school. Stress and threats I had at the time came back to me, reminding how good my life has become.
The security man comes in and makes some tea into his old plastic cup. Once, then twice. Every time he does so, a nice aroma reaches my nose, into my nostril to my lungs.
Most of the student’s food was instant noodles, I guess that was so because it’s convenient and most importantly, cheap.
I then remember why they ate like that. They have extra classes after main classes.
And I’m here complaining over the expensive food in my school, which is damn well – made.
What the hell it’s wrong with me?
Probably as my standards of living rose so quickly, my gratitude didn’t rise as fast, and this results in me feeling pissed in almost everything.
5.41 pm
I’m finally home.
The sky went from grey to a lighter shade of grey.
I learnt something. In fact, I revised something today.
15/4/2021.
bonus
i thought these messages were nice to have ~
I'm so sorry if you don't understand Vietnamese D: I'm too laz to translate after all
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