after a week or more of "not feeling like writing this blog" and having not gathered enough mental energy or whatsoever, I finally have it all - the feeling and the experience packed up to produce this blog that sets a new milestone for my life, opening up a new chapter, really.
I won't say when I learnt what, but I'll generalize things cause they're way sooooo many. have fun reading tho.
find something that's worth suffering for
you.gotta.suffer. (but don't have that mindset and be a pile of your disappointment)
but it's nice to have something that's worth suffering for.
like soulmates that seize your soul so neatly, sunsets and sunrises, beaches, plants, succulents, etc.
life's gonna be real suck, and hard time is a good shake to check on your faith, "why have you been doing this thing", your reason of being, and it decides whether this thing stays or vanishes.
regarding relationships, all relationships go to hell, but strong ones survive
I know what I gotta push through to make it count though, that's my relationship, my family, and my future, of course.
ways adult talk
I was supposed to insert a quote right here nicely but for god's sake I can't remember the quote word for word, have fun reading this sucky version of it instead tho
"the only difference between an adult and a child is that an adult don't say 100% what they see/ listen"
this is actually legit, but don't be too quick to blame on adults then. sometimes lies are neccessary, white lies that can save lives. but sometimes they're not, a good adult is the one who knows when to lie, and when not lie.
for years I have been indifferent to the world and people around me, now that I realized the greatest meaning of growing up - not to do big things like getting into Havard or rank #1 on LinkedIn for whatever major, but to be able to cherish and understand smoll things, that creat values.
what we see and what we don't
basically, contrast and compare your life to others' and think they are so lucky.
but what if I told you the friend you saw posting posts after posts on vacation was in serious debts, and your aunty who seems to be dying from whatever disease was having the best life?
we see what we don't have.
before my soulmate was even my soulmate, his mom had a quote that any family is a damn smelly fish sauce jar, it's their decisions to open it or not (or open but to some extent)
at the end of the day, the one that knows how happy one is, is oneself, and only oneself can know for sure.
you can be exactly as happy as you decide to be
one of the most important thing to know if you wanna be happy is knowing what you can control, and what you can't.
for most of the times, what you can control includes your attitude and something else, but for hard times, sometimes what you can control is only your attitude.
attitude defines altitude, and trying to change the external environment gonna waste time and effort real hard.
I always rate my days according to the externalities, now that I learnt that attitude was the main thing, I can be as happy as I decide to be, I mean everyday so often.
hard times + a good mindset = catalyst of learning
hard times make you learn, but you can learn way faster, with a good mindset.
be nice
I was asking [a person I really admire] how to stay happy, and what she said, was to be nice.
mental health and one's life can't always be seen through, and everything happens for a reason most of the time. for times it doesn't make sense, just call it bad luck an move on.
cause you can't clean anything with dirt, and you can't improve your relationships provided you keep on bitting their heads off.
for that being nice to people you don't know may be hard, but what's harder is being nice to people that you know too.damn.well, such as your family's members or that-coworker-that-I-go-to-the-bar-with-everyday-and-she-told-me-everything.
I tend to listen to opinions from other people other than our family, even affter that I realize the content was the same, but the delivery was different.
"It's nice to be nice" - Casey Neistat
well it's hard, but with time and effort, you can make it.
will to fail
the reason to fail, is not to fail later, or to fail later anyways but in a less destructive way to your mental and physical health.
you don't have to fail everytime to learn though, watch how others failed, and learn from it. your time is not enough to learn everything by failing by yourself.
there is no need to stress out
this is how you would normally solve a problem
1/ problem happens
2/ identify problem
3/ solve it somehow
4/ learn the cause to prevent it from happening (highly recommend it)
for the last months, I have teared up for really simple reasons (being overly emotional for various reasons) and get upset about how life works.
but life is not fair, though, so not everything has a cause for it, but there is a solution for everything (including your attitude)
time
there isn't time, so brief is life.
how long does it take for you to realize that you are actually living and not passively doing other things while scrolling through social media?
lives get easier they said, but it actually gets harder that we live in an era of distraction.
but time is what you have to make changes, this sounds too cliche I know, I question whther one understand what he or she reads on a deep level, or it was just the surface runoff on you?
how to see life
once you get to see life in these 2 ways, it's gonna get 99999x much easier
1/ seeing things for how it is, without having biases (of course you won't be able to detach 100% but you can reduce biases you have)
2/ seeing life as a whole
there are things that you need to generalize as to simplify it, and there are things that you should see in details and never generalize it, but we hoomans mistake them so often.
never ever ever ever generalize people cause even the most related ones can be hella distinct from a different point of view.
that's why stereotypes and horoscopes suck, not all sagittarius is an asshole in their realtionships, not all asians are good at math and not all black people are uneducated.
while steoreotypes can save you some time from understanding people by talking to them, it whoops your ass in the long run
never ever ever ever see the whole life in details for too long, you'll miss out the other things.
it's not always gonna be sugary-sweet, and it's not going to be shit-colored all the time, it's an alternating sequences between this and that, it's dumb to think it's only this way or another. in life selection, it's the survival of the most realistic.
but well that doesn't mean you grow up to be a capitalist, have some space for your inner child to thrive, too.
the ability to detach
I'd been showing off people my ability to multitask.
but most of us can't multitask, and even if you can't, it isn't good, either.
you can't really have a good time enjoying your TV show while also writing your own report. once you finnished it and proofread it before handing it in, you realize how it sucks and what the hell have you been doing.
if you're tired, rest.
if you're fresh and new, go do some work and just don't waste it doing other things.
if you rested and still tired, probably check on your hydration and your mobility, have you been too sedentary recently?
it's not always the lack of time, but the lack of focus.
self development is highly personal
let me tell you a story.
I'd been trying to schedule my day using Google Calendar cause most influencers I know and admire use that thing.
took me about a year to realize it never works for me.
I can write a to do list and still be okay, things totally fuck up when I schedule things on calendar task for task.
okay, I underestimate time I need for this task, oh I don't feel like doing it right now, what the hell is the asisgnments popping up for different subjects going on?
fixing events can be a pain in the ass, especially if you're doing it physically and not via any apps. frustration stops me from working, so I accomplish none.
so the next time if something doesn't work for you, maybe give it another try, and if it still not work, that's not because you're lazy or other people are smarter, but it just doesn't work for you, that simple!!! no need to stress out or have severe existential crisises, try until you get it.
your victory don't have to be other's failure and vice versa.
my tip for fighting meta-feelings
basically "how do you feel about feeling that way"
most of the times I would criticize myself (and I still do but it's much less), then the next thing that's gonna happen is I feel like I shouldn't have been an asshole to myself then tear up.
it's a pile of shit, I know. a thing about emotions is that i doesn't go away asap.
so just... do it more until you get enough of it.
then you'll realize what life favors and what life don't, as well as how to adapt.
a happy life is a simple life, but it's not that easy to be simple.
damn, thank you Tagore for such a nice quote.
last words
I hope that's all I have to say cause ideas just keep popping up. hope I served you well. thanks for reading this post, have fun staring at me being a bold human being before I collapse on my bed.
29/3/2021.
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