To
Quarter rest
Bass Clef, Measure 35, Fantaisie-Impromptu Op.66
Chopin, RM 01834
Dear friend,
You may not know me, but I know you – lying gracefully on the second to the fourth line of the stave – every time I open the piece to practice. In music, you are a symbol of silence, but I want to let you know how loudly your lessons resonated with me through your mere presence on the music sheet.
Admittedly, I was not always a great friend to you. Months ago, when I hastily read through the music sheet, I did not see you quite well. Before getting to know you, I often thought what a waste of space and ink you were on paper. Silence always felt like an endless void that I needed to fill. Resting was never an option, whether it be in music or life.
I wonder if you ever wanted to be a note – something perceived as louder and more powerful. I ponder if you ever shaved your distinctive curves and edges into the straight line as that of quarter note, to assimilate yourself with the rest of the notes for the promise of gregariousness. For me, I found myself being awkward in conversations which I couldn’t engage just to keep silence at bay. I tried to fit in, but always ended up falling out.
For the longest time, I could not understand what was lacking in my practice and life. It was until a desperate evening when I struggled to get the polyrhythm of your piece right did I stop and think. And I heard something I haven’t noticed since forever: silence. Silence, an opportunity to stop and reflect on life. Silence, a way to hear the voice amidst chaos. After all, it was Mozart who said, “The music is not in the notes, but the silence between.”
Silence is not something forever bound to a physical place like the library; it is something you bring with you. Thus, I ventured out and brought it to places that needed it the most. In science labs, I think I care less about the loud animals that roar, howl, and growl for attention. Now, I just want to study the earthworms, engineers of the ecosystem, silently working their way to restore soil aeration, structure, and nutrient cycling for the soil. In Model United Nations, as the chair banged the gavel and the delegate defended her idea for small nuclear reactors, I closed my eyes and envisioned the speech as music itself. Words flowed in as notes, and I heard the melodies she was effortlessly creating. However, I no longer feel pressured to come up with immediate solutions. I took time to look at the problem through the lens of an IAEA expert, and raised my placard high to challenge such reactors’ plausibility regarding energy inefficiency and maintenance costs.
Nevertheless, it never escaped me that the hardest rests to play were never on the sheet nor in scenarios that I mentioned above. In a world that is constantly asking for attention, my greatest achievement has been implementing you – quarter rest – in my own personal life. Every morning, I make the choice to turn the cacophony of notifications into the sound of bird chirping, leaves rustling, and most important of all, the sound of my inner voice that silence has allowed me to hear.
I have always thought it would take movements to fix a broken chord, but in the end, all it took was a single rest.
Thank you for giving me the confidence to stand with pride and acceptance of my own nature,
Your humble pianist.
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