17th April, 2022
I used to be very bad at handling weekends: all that chores, accumulating homework and ego depletion drained me. However, I think I'm getting better and better at controlling my stress level now.
As legends had it, there are two inevitable things in life: taxes and death. While these two may be the most prominent and relevant out there, there are others that we forget to mention as well. Work, regardless of whether you got paid by it, and everything that comes with it never leaves, they just convert from one form to another. Now that I've learnt to conquer that demon inside me, I'm feeling more conscious and grateful that I'd chosen IB instead of AP, since it helped me face stress earlier and have coping mechanisms at an earlier in life.
The myth behind work-life balance
There is no such thing as work-life balance, really. The better you're at stripping away useless things in your life, the more mental and physical room you have for your work and hobbies.
After you'd done that, you can start to see how you're working and aim to change it for the better. Although I could go on and on about this, the 3 most important rules that made my work a breeze has been.
discipline is freedom
eat the frog
bitesize > chunk
Rule #1
The most efficient people I've ever met or heard of have this rule at the heart of their work. I heard The Present Writer talked about it in her podcasts, and my favorite teacher probably had this as a motto for his life. By having clear boundaries, he felt no guilt when he's working or resting, and that adds up the quality in work and rest that he does. Although it takes quite long and a lot of hardships for me to fully grasp and implement it in my life, I must say it pays off in the long run. It's easy to throw away your work and have fun first, but you'll always feel better in the end if you were at peace with your work instead of neglecting it and chasing instant gratification.
Rule #2
I hate chemistry, I think I hate it less now but that sense of hatred still lingers. For whatever I hate, I will try to postpone it until the very last minutes and do less urgent things, faking my productivity. That never leads to fruitful outcomes, only thorns and shitty results. The vicious cycle goes on and on, and eventually drags my grand and mental health down to hell.
When the frog is still small, you eat it, and you'll be okay. Don't way until the last minute to revise or do work for whatever. Starting your day knowing the worst is behind your back is now a new way of living.
Rule #3
Believe it or not but if your body doesn't know how to break down food, you'll probably be dead by now. The same goes with tasks and goals. No one can build a house in a day. You build layers after layers with a constant, active endeavour. Be like muscles, contract, then relax. Quality is more important than quantity, you'll get it done one day. Be very clear about the duration you want your work to last and have specific goals that align with your actual productivity and capacity. There is no need to pull an all-nighter.
When you've mastered these three rules and taken life one day at a time, everything seems a lot more manageable. You can now learn how to stop and have fun! Work never ends, but you can choose to stop by a river and enjoy precious moments when you're still alive, healthy, and abundant.
What I learnt this weekend
Worry when it's time to worry
As those steps mentioned above laid a firm foundation for my weekend, I have more time to reflect and do things that add values to my life. If there is anything I learnt about this, I think it would be "don't blame" and the power of acceptance. I do SAT practice test, I mop the floors, I wash and hang 2 containers of my family's clothes, both at home and uniform, I do the dishes, etc. for every single week. Some weeks can get more insane than others if we have to change the bedspread, then wash, then hang, then fold. And I have CAS meetings 8pm or 9pm almost every Sunday that lasts anywhere between 10 minutes to 1 hour.
But I still finish all the assigned work on time, even earlier than other who have less housework than me. What's the magic? Spend time on things that add value to your life. Less distraction, more focus. More mindfulness, more gratitude.
And worry when it's time to worry. There is no need to be preoccupied on Monday for something that doesn't happen until Sunday. Learn to live with things you can't get rid of.
Delayed gratification
Although I love to complain with my friends and mom about chores, I think I'm going to thank it one day. It's those chores that help me strip out useless stuff in my life and focus more on my work. I also gained an advantage when living independently as I'm used to doing chores and some household basics. I'm still a novice when it comes to cooking but at least my food is edible and doesn't stop at making instant noodles or frying eggs. I can cook a meal and that makes me pretty proud.
There're things that people avoided because it cause them immediate discomfort. Workout, chores, calling their parents, I could go on and on. Look at your actions as seeds: most of the best ones take the longest and most effort to grow, but it'll be fruitful. However, in this modern society, we're too quick to stimulus that we forgot how beneficial delayed gratification can be. Not everyone can see through seeds as blessing in disguise, but if you're mindful enough, you can and you will.
I think another name for it is GRIT, which is mentioned in a Ted Talk I'd just watched today.
As meaningful and promising as it sounds, not everything deserves GRIT. Like when you've tried out a thing for too many times with different approaches to it but the results are still far from being fruitful, or doesn't pay off your time, effort, and in some case money, it's time to stop. Grind on the right thing. Although I can't tell you what is right or not, and right itself is already an abstract and broad concept, your experience can. That's why it's so important to understand yourself in the first place. In the end, everything you do in life always contribute to understanding yourself a bit better, and treating it nicer as you go.
Starting with yourself
I want to bring back your focus on a post that I posted on blog a few days ago. It was basically family rant and all that jazz. Now that I've been mindful again, I start to realize what makes things went wrong. That foreshadowing symbol is not always easy to realize, but you get better as you fail. In my case, that was my sister's studies and how we often argued regarding it. That alone, when combined with my mom's stress about her work, is enough to fuel an outrage that would burn and tear my mental health apart.
While I am particularly helpless in terms of changing my mom or putting away pressure from her life, I can always start with myself. Now, I try to finish my studies early to help my mom with cooking and washing the dishes, while also keeping a light-hearted relationship with my sister although she can get stubborn at times. When you play your part right, you can prevent another series of dominos from collapsing.
The power of humaninty lays in fiction
Fiction is a broad term. However, in today's post, I want to define it as things that humans created for themselves. When understood in this way, fiction can be anything from Jane Austen's works and Greek mythology to businesses and political systems. According to Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind, human's intelligence alone won't be enough for them to form complex social hierarchy and build impressive architutural structures like the Egyptian pyramids. The remaining parts lay in collaborative efforts. Now the question is "How can you gather a bunch of humans together and still keep them at peace?" Let's have something to believe intogether! Before science, religions, mythologies and folklores, which potentially emerged from dreams, had brought people together.
Although the role of science is indisputable, ficion plays a more important role in today's society because we're still humans. Social changes are more likely to emerge when one's perspectives about races and generations change! In my own case, I find myself reading less fictions this year. It has been a busy year, except for prescribed fiction books that I had to read, the main type of information I've been consuming is non-ficiton. It's only yesterday that I started to reread The Rainbow Troops, and how I found peace within it. Schoolwork inundated me with facts, language lessons made me analyze everything to the point of paralysis. Beyond everything, I'm still learning to learn stuff that I want to learn, instead of sacrificing that for any academic purposes.
New habits for next week
Work out
I've been very sedentary lately. Although I'm good at working, I still procrastinate on working out. However, as my boyfriend continues to flex about the frequency and amount of time he spends at the gym, I feel this urge to do something. My good metabolism can't save my belly from accumulating fats and glycogens now.
Today, I tried to take a nap. After too many tosses and turns on the mattress, I couldn't fall asleep so I went out and do some dancing. Although dancing is fun, I find the avaiable videos on Youtube quiet rigid, and I prefer to go to actual dance classes for myself. However, I couldn't at the moment. With the given conditions of my house, which is space, my body and no equipment, the only type of exercise that suited me was bodyweight. Convenient yet extremely boring. I actually lied to myself that when I get to college I will run on the treadmill later, but my fat belly can't way anymore so I got a head start anyway.
I've been using lots of work out apps focusing on bodyweigt training and my advice for anyone searching for one is stay away from "30 days" apps. It works well when you're still in the 30 days range, but after sessions like that I often feel clueless about what to do next. Currently, I'm using Freeletics. Its intermediate level is pretty hardcore to me so I'm still clinging to its beginner sets. I hope to make working out into a habit before I add more weight into training.
Reflecting time
On weekends I tend to have more time for myself (this week was a lucky one) but I feel the need to strip out a bit of my day, every day, for my mental wellbeing. Another session of advice for choosing mental health app: delete right away those that
"tell you what to do" too much at the start
have stupid UI/UX design that make it hard for you to navigate
give you only one or two free trials
I understand that the team behind those apps are humans and they need money to live, but I feel like the way they're giving is ruining my experience and I would prefer not using it in the first place. However, I believe that mental health apps, if good enough, will gain enough support to offer users a decent Free plan. I do not object those apps having a Plus plan, it's just the way they give the Free plan disgusts me, honestly.
Currently, I'm using Tide. Although its new meditation sessions are free for a few weeks from the date of releasing, there are some free series that you can listen as well! I used to listen to those a lot but got bored from the pre-existing ones. For now, the main functions of Tide that I used the most are its quotes, or daily inspiration, and breathe, which are all free.
Sleep analysis is free as well but it asks my phone to be charged from the moment I sleep until I get up, which is personally too much... so I didn't really use it anymore.
Tide, I promise that as soon as I make my own money I'll be buying your Plus plan. Your team deserves it.
Thank God it's Monday
I came across this phrase while reading some sample college application essays and it struck me the most.
Today I will do what others won't, so tomorrow I can do what others can't.
Thanks Jerry Rice, I and others really needed it mate.
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